I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
