i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
His nipple licking is glorious
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