I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
