The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
