capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
