You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
