I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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