Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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