awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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