you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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