When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
