She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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