Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
