I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
