When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's blow job season.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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