How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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