fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
