We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
