At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
