atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
