Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
