I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
