she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
