last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
