Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize