My cat gives me a boner
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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