I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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