I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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