This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize