Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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