I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
