just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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