I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
