people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
