It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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