he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Boobs are out for the taking
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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