he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize