Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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