How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
