are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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