No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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