Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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