my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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