Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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