so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
