you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize