Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
