erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
