I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why did my mother make you get naked?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
