Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
