I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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