woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I would fuck him just for his dog
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