remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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