That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
