If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
