halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
