You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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