so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
