I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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