What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
