Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
