Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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