I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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