Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
